What if I make the wrong choices and waste my life?

Lanzarote, 2025 – The Door to the Other Side

If you’ve landed here hoping for clarity on where your life is headed, I’ll tell you what I tell my clients:

Only your higher self can truly answer that.

But I can help you get quiet enough to hear it.

Because when you’re spinning in circles—questioning your purpose, second-guessing every move, or asking yourself why you can’t just “get it together”—you're not damaged. You're responding in a very human way. And the very thing you’re trying to outrun—uncertainty—might be the key to everything.

But what if I told you... the anxiety of the unknown isn’t the issue? It’s a symptom.

Most people don’t realize this. They come to therapy thinking, “I just want to stop overthinking” or “I’m tired of not knowing what I want.” But what they’re really describing is a state of inner disconnection—one that’s been shaped by years of emotional overload, suppressed needs, and environments that didn’t allow them to feel safe being fully themselves.

Here’s what I’ve learned after years of working with people struggling with anxiety, self-trust, and low motivation:

That gnawing anxiety about not knowing your path? It’s your nervous system doing its job.

When your brain detects uncertainty, it activates regions like the amygdala, responsible for scanning for threats, and the anterior insula, which processes internal bodily sensations—like that knot in your stomach or racing heart.

These signals flood your system with stress hormones like cortisol, making it harder to think clearly or access your inner knowing. Why? Because your brain isn’t trying to help you grow—it’s trying to protect you. And if you grew up in an environment where emotional safety was unpredictable, your brain learned early on to view the unknown as dangerous.

So, no—you’re not “too sensitive” or “too indecisive.”

You’re running a pattern rooted in early attachment, unmet needs, and the natural response of a body that’s been holding on too tightly for too long.

Clients often arrive in therapy thinking their anxiety is about choices—career paths, relationships, timing. But more often than not, these worries point to something much more fundamental:

“What if I can’t trust myself to handle life?”

This fear—of choosing wrong, of being lost forever—is an echo of earlier moments when you didn’t feel held or mirrored in your experience. It’s what we call existential anxiety: the fear of being without direction, without purpose, or without inherent worth.

And it’s heavy.

But you can begin to regulate it.

One simple technique: Emotion → Action → Opposite Action

When you’re overwhelmed, your body often drives you toward the default reaction: withdrawal, overthinking, people-pleasing, numbing.

Here’s a practical way to break that loop:

1. Notice the Emotion:

“I feel anxious because I don’t know what’s next.”

Let yourself name it without judgment.

2. Recognize the Urge (Action):

What do you usually do with that anxiety? Maybe you shut down, avoid decisions, or keep endlessly researching.

3. Do the Opposite Action:

If the urge is to hide—take a small, meaningful action.

If the urge is to over-prepare—pause and breathe instead.

If the urge is to isolate—send a message, go for a walk with someone, speak.

Opposite Action doesn’t invalidate the emotion—it helps you reset the nervous system long enough to show yourself that you can move through discomfort without being consumed by it.

This is something I teach clients early in our work together:

You don’t have to believe the opposite action will work.

You just need to try it consistently—and observe what shifts.

The real transformation happens not when you get all the answers, but when you become someone who can live the questions.

This is what I help my clients do—especially those navigating anxiety, low self-worth, and blocks around motivation or trust.

If any of this resonates with you, it’s not random.

It’s your inner self saying: 'Maybe I don’t have to do this alone anymore.'

Aura MBACP